i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I smell stomach acid.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
