God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize