So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I think I sprained my soul last night
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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