she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
im calling her cock vulture from now on
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
