But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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