one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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