just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
