could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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