haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
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