So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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