just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
