mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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