Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
