whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
