And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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