So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
