Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
