Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
