Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
