Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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