I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
