doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize