They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
