and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
