he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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