What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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