I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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