Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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