Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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