Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
