"it" just moved
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize
