how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
