We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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