let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
