i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
