I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
