This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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