I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
