I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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