i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i dont even know how to be here
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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