Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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