Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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