I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
