another moral hangover. fuck.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
These tits shall not be calmed
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
