I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
