So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
