Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
