I should be sponsored by Trojan
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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