I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
