Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
