i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize
