based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
