Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
