At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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