Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
