flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
