I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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