I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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