My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
