So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
the raccoons are back...
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