dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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