I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
