please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
