Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
