i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
