I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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