goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
