i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize