im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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