someone threw a dead crab at me
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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