oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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