My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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