Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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